Charming Friends,

I am sitting on my pretty sofa, surrounded by feathery and furry family, counting my blessings. It is just after the Solstice: a happy time in my world, and in the world of one of my gorgeous family members, a wonderful man of German origin - think of the chilly winters! - who happily burbled 'This is my favourite time of year because the sun is now officially on the way back!' His joy reminded me about how lucky we are to live in a safe, pleasant place and have the education and the wealth and the leisure to anjoy the simple premise that the warmer months are on their way.

And this in turn made me think about the verities that we tend to hold so dear in our wealthy, happy, healthy, educated and safe society: you know, relatively speaking - middle-class Australians like me, in world terms, are ridiculously, worryingly wealthy, happy, healthy, educated and safe - which doesn't imply for a moment that all Australians live in this haze of good fortune and privilege.

In fact, those of us who are so privileged have an unfortunate habit of forgetting just how fortunate we are, as evidenced by the social Holy Grails that permeate our existence. Holy Grails? What is Blossom rabbiting on about now?

You know: those things we are all directed to aspire to. Those things that we grasp for eternally, that we idolise and lionise (and no doubt a lot of other words that end in 'ise'). Those things we all want, but can't necessarily all have. And I tend to think, in our society, those things are threefold: Health, Wealth and Youth. One might think that any person, in possession of all three, might be utterly and perfectly fulfilled. But is this really so?

Let's start with Wealth. Now, money is indeed a fine thing to have. It means one can pay bills, eat, get medical care, get educated, be clothed, afford luxuries. Nobody - least of all me - is denying that money makes a difference. However, what type of wealth do we aspire to, in a social sense? The type that alows one to maintain a life of comfort, or the type that allows one to maintain a yacht and four racecars? And does having More automatically imply being Happier?

The Darling Sisters have a bit of a shopping habit, we are the first to admit it. And sometimes we run out of money to spend on frivolities like gorgeous new frocks, and instead whip out of the wardrobe a gorgeous old frock: or cannibalise an old grotty outfit to re-sew the buttons onto a slightly less grotty one. Sometimes we feel the pinch before payday (aren't we lucky to have a payday?!) and don't go out, choosing instead to lurk at home with a cuppa and the telly. Sometimes we get, frankly, rather worried about money. Would more make a difference? Possibly: but the other thing that makes a difference is remembering how lucky we are to have a job at all. It makes a difference to remember our grandmothers and how they made do during the second world war, when all the money in the word couldn't have bought them extra rations or, you know, personal safety.

We have seen our Charming Friends in action. Some really do scrape by from payday to payday. Yet you are all more than worthy individuals: especially when you only have $50 to tide you over until the next money comes in, and you give $25 to a charity (which we've seen you do - sprung!) Would you be better people if you were all rich? Hardly! You are exactly who you are right now, money or no money. (Maybe having to skimp a bit every now and again actually helps us to remember what we have that others don't?) But frankly, rich people are just as capable of decency and charity as poor people: so obviously it is heart and charm that makes a person a good citizen, and not so much what they have in the bank ... or in the driveway!

Wealth as a Holy Grail? Nice ... but hardly the life-changing experience.

Next: Youth. We're all young at some stage, yes? And do we agree that young people are gorgeous? Of course we do. Just the other day myself and a colleague were observing a crowd of Gorgeous Young Things charging merrily around and marvelling at how sweet they all were: no matter what their shape, size, background, ability or whatever. Youth does have a magic, there is not denying it. And then we noticed a group of Gorgeous Old Things sitting at a table nearby, having coffee and roaring their heads off at some joke. And we marvelled at how sweet they all were: no matter what their shape, size, background, ability or whatever. They were beautiful and I found myself looking forward to being the same age ... and older ... and older.

Our society treats Youth as though it is the only thing that matters, sometimes. Funny, though, how ageing doesn't change a person's value to society. Or beauty. If you don't believe me, go to your local shopping centre, open your eyes and your mind and observe people at all ages. Every generation has its magic and aren't we lucky to be able to live as long as we do, and to be able to choose to make the most of our elders and what they have to offer us?

Isn't it sad, then, that we are constantly bombarded by images of vibrant youth? That old ladies and gentlemen are expected to purchase clothing designed for and modelled by teenagers? That the aged are so often unkindly lampooned rather than feted and celebrated? I'm just saying ...

Neeeeext. Health.

Sometimes I wonder if Health really IS the Holy Grail. I mean, we all want it. We all desire it greatly - who wouldn't want to live a life completely free of illness, accident or discomfort? And practically none of us have it, all the time and forever. Like death and taxes, illness is just a fact of life.

Yet we as a society are so judgemental of those who do not have it. Listen to the language that people use, especially in the media. Listen to your OWN language! Have you ever made a bitter remark about somebody who smokes and has a cough? Or heard somebody mocking a person who has diabetes and is overweight?

Yet many of us have had the opportunity to learn to read, and to study science. We KNOW there is a difference between cause and correlation. Why do we tolerate a society that actively punishes people for ill-health, or (this is appalling) for a disability?

We'd all love to be healthy (or young or rich or thin) - but we're not. Sometimes we get a headcold and sometimes we have a disability and sometimes we get diabetes and sometimes we get cancer. Are our lives measured by these things? How can they be? A dear family friend died this week from cancer. She'd had it for a long time: ooh, years. Her life was greatly changed and affected by it but her value to society, to her friends and family, was absolutely not. Her life will not be remembered as the life of a person with cancer, but as her lovely, valuable, wonderful vibrant self. And so are we all remembered: or at least we should be. We are not defined by our eating disorders, or our heart problems, or our missing limbs, or by our mental health, or by our chronic migraines, or by our motor accidents.

Wealth, Youth and Health are our Holy Grails but the fact is, the treasure is usually out of reach. We are not necessarily better off for having them, and we are not necessarily worse off if we don't.

The main thing I think we should do is remember to be grateful for what we've got, use our powers for good rather than evil, and try our hardest to appreciate others for who they are and not what they have or don't have.

And a very happy Solstice to you all!

Yours charmngly
Blossom Darling