Charming friends,

If you, like many others, enjoy some of the fantastic body-positive blogs out there, you might have read about one or two recent ad campaigns out there that have been really upsetting people. Now, we don't want to give free publicity to intolerant people so no names and no links to nasty ads here, but the fact is that most of us at some stage have been upset by horrible intolerant advertising efforts - sadly, it's hardly a new problem.

You know the sort of thing: it might seem harmless, or even funny, to some people, but to other people it is the pointy end of the social iceberg that is prejudice. A so-called 'harmless comment' can be symptomatic of much, much worse things. There are times, charming friends, where inappropriate comments or behaviour are best ignored: but there are other times when inaction is potentially dangerous. In short, there are times when action is the best policy.

Recently Blossom was fortunate enough to hear a wonderful gentleman called Mr Peter Cundall give a public talk. Mr Cundall, if you have not heard of him, is a popular horticulturalist and media personality in Australia. He is also a very intelligent, genuinely charming man who never, ever lets somebody get away with telling a racist joke, and he urged his listeners to be the same. He always speaks up in the defence of other people. Blossom found Mr Cundall very inspiring to listen to, as did the rest of the audience, who broke out into spontaneous applause.

Why would one listen to something they found objectionable, and not speak up? There are many reasons, ranging from not wishing to 'rock the boat' to actually feeling threatened. However if it seems safe to do so, we do urge you to draw attention to the fact that you are not amused by certain things. There is no need to be rude - in fact, quite the opposite, as a reasoned and polite argument can be most effective. There is, however, good reason to be informed, so that if the conversation turns into a debate, you are pre-armed with information that can be backed up if necessary. Meaning, read: expose yourself to issues that are important to you and, yes, be aware of potential arguments that your opposition may be using, so that you can rebut them with sense.

Sometimes, you know, people may not even realise that they are causing offence, and if you speak up they may be greatly embarrassed or upset. It isn't much fun upsetting somebody, especially if you are find of them, so be gentle but do be honest. Saying 'When you say that I find it offensive for this reason' may well make that person think twice in future. Accept the person's apology and move on, if that's what it comes to, but if there are people out there being hurt, you do not have to put up with it.

Being an advocate - or even an activist if you feel strongly enough - may be a difficult road to choose. However one only needs to look at history to realise that activism can and does make a difference. It can be as small as speaking up when something upsets you, as simple as writing to an advertising control body or agency, or as effective as donating to a charity or advocacy group. However standing up for other people does take courage. Don't let anybody tell you that isn't charming, because it most definitely is!

So if you have been upset by narky advertising, here is a little organisation you might want to contact about it: www.advertisingstandardsbureau.com.au.

Yours charmingly,
Blossom Darling