When our Charming Friends admire our outfits, we are frequently asked 'where did you get it?' To which we usually answer: we sell it in our online shop, or else we purchased it at somebody else's online shop.

A common response to this statement is 'You know, I never buy clothes online. I don't know how you do it! I have to try them on first.'

Perhaps it's time that we explain why we love online clothes shopping. The fact is that we are usually very pleased with the results. Why is this?

Scenario 1: shopping in person. This can be tremendously fun, a wonderful bonding opportunity with friends and certainly a source of instant gratification. When we do it, it inevitably includes a nice lunch with a glass of wine, and a trip to at least one luggage or stationery shop.

On the other hand, it can also involve endless trawling from shop to shop, desperately seeking something — anything — to suit your needs. This shop does not cater for your size, these five shops do not cater for your shape, this one is too expensive, this one too young, too old, too hip, too posh ... You find the perfect garment — but it only comes in an odd colour, and you had your heart set on a particular shade.

It is awful when shops do not provide your size — or, when they do, but it is a garment shaped for a size 8 model which has simply been scaled upwards ignoring the fact that size 18 ladies have much different (but equally bewitching) shapes.

It is hardest of all if your size is simply not represented at all, or your shape is not represented at all, or if you have a specific shape that is not typically catered for, e.g. a physical condition, or if you cannot wear certain materials such as latex, or if you have specific cultural needs, or prefer alternative fashions or ... It's heartbreaking to be 'othered' by a manky shop that you would not usually even go near if it weren’t for the fact that you are desperate. In fact it's heartbreaking to be 'othered' by anybody, e.g. 'you are not within the boundaries of what we consider 'normal''. It's worst of all to be looked up and down snootily by a rude assistant who already knows there is no way you'll find anything in their shop, yet watches while you continue fruitlessly flicking through the racks.

And how can you know which shops to avoid? Very few shops advertise their sizing charts in situ. You are at the mercy of the designer who has chosen a particular fit model to base their entire collection around. Unless you happen to know that fit model, their sizing and how it compares with yours, you are relying on a single number for a size guide.

And, as we all know, that number very rarely has much basis in reality. Humans are diverse creatures: how can a single number define us? Really it's a miracle we ever find anything that fits us at all using this sizing technique. Fit is a complex thing and you need way more than one number to work from.

Scenario 2: shopping online. You pour yourself a cup of tea, settle on the sofa with your laptop and a tape measure, and start shopping. You know you want a great frock for work and cocktails. Hopefully you already have several favourite shops bookmarked (if not, why not take a look at ours?)

Here's a nice frock. What size is it? Bring up the size chart. Using your handy tape measure, compare to yourself. You are looking for a reasonable match of ALL the sizing: waist, bust, hips, length. But it’s advertised as a stretch fabric so you know you have a bit of slack to play with. Not quite? Fine. Go to the next shop and repeat the process. Here's one. Ah, cute, that’s my style. Sizing? That's pretty close. Stretch fabric? Yes. Order.

A week or two later, a package is delivered. Ooh, it's like a birthday present. Excitedly you whip it open and there’s your new frock. It fits! Of course it does, you already checked the fit beforehand. And the fabric and the construction. It fits perfectly because you made sure it would. The next day you wear it to work and get many compliments because it fits you so well and nobody has seen anything like it in the shops.

Of course not every online experience is precisely like that. Occasionally you forget to ask a crucial question, like 'can you send me the neck measurements?' More rarely, you encounter one of those awful designers whose sizing chart does not reflect the finished product, or does not provide good service. That’s a drag: and so a good idea to ask or Google around a bit and hear other people's experiences with the shop in advance if you haven't used it before.

However, we find nowadays that those experiences are very rare. By now we know our own bodies and our own styles and we have an idea of the shapes and garments that suit us (and if you don’t, you can always contact the Darlings for advice — Darla especially is a whiz at matching style to body shape). We know our own measurements and have a list of great shops that we know provide good service, good sizing and good quality. Sometimes we might need to make some minor adjustments: a new zip, shortened slightly, new buttons. It's worth it to buy something that you know in advance is going to work.

One other good tip is to measure a garment you already have that is a similar style. Email the online shop this information and if they are worth their salt they will come back with more information on their fit. Also get savy with fabric. Know which fabrics work with your body (Darla never touches stretch bengaline, for example.) Don't be shy asking if they do custom sizing — this only works when the seller is actually the manufacture and usually works well with small businesses — but there are lots of them around!

Finally a tailor is your best friend. If the fit is ok but not perfect take it to a tailor. For very little money you will end up with a perfectly fitting garment.

These days, online shopping for us really is as simple and satisfying as a cup of tea and some nifty keyboard work. One does miss out on the instant gratification — but those stationery and luggage shops are still out there! And there is something wonderful about waiting for the delivery person’s knock on the door — is that my new frock? It is! It is!

Next time you've had a frustrating time failing to find what you're looking for, let us know. We may very well be able to help you find exactly what you're looking for online … and next time you go to the shops you can head straight for the nice café for a long lazy lunch instead.